a 30 day update

gosh i have been a slack blogger. i guess i will play the newborn baby card, because it is the easiest card to play. i could probably even slam that card on the table as my excuse for thinking about shutting down this little blog, but i want to document the story god gave us, and so through my sleep deprivation i will soldier on.


ella vera hutchins was born at 12.20pm on 7 march 2012. after 14 hours of torture labor she was put on my chest. she was a screaming hot mess but she was all mine at the same time. she was mine in a way that something had never been mine before, and every day she grows and changes i feel like it is a day closer to her no longer being mine any more. one day she will belong to her friends, school, her job, life in general, but in these first precious weeks she belongs solely to me. at our three am feeds on the couch while the world sleeps i fight to remember to savour the moment, because while it is so hard, it is so rewarding at the same time. 


she has started to recognise my voice and to smile, that means a lot.


also, sometimes she screams in such pain (we think it's a tummy pain) and I feel so helpless, and that is hard.


poor ella started her life with jaundice, then she was having a devil of a time eating meaning she wasn't putting on enough weight, it was at that point that formula was looking mighty tempting but i am glad i persevered with breastfeeding because now she is growing and putting on weight like a champ!


we are approaching week five and all in all it is starting to get easier. 


during labor i literally couldn't understand how people have more than one child. while writhing in pain i was planning our lives as a single child household, and i was totally fine with it.


but now i get it, you are holding perfection in your arms and why wouldn't you want more of that?

little by little, week by week

i've been working on a little project for the past forty weeks.
well I guess I've been working on two little projects. one is sleeping blissfully upstairs and the other is here! 

i've always found fascinating the body's ability to drastically change itself in short periods of time. i really wanted to document that change over this pregnancy, so with nick's help we took photos almost every week to watch the changes. unfortunately we couldn't get a week thirty nine photo because baby ella decided to arrive three days early.

it's true, from little things, big things grow...

post script

while i do wear an inordinate amount of stripes

in this case, they're intentional

still no baby up in here

well actually to be more precise, there's still a baby, but it's...

the strange thing about waiting for a baby is that you honestly think it will never come. the rational part of your brain is squashed by the impatient, 'body aching all over' part of your brain that just truly believes every morning you wake up still pregnant, is just further confirmation that this baby, in fact, will never arrive.


now of course, it will arrive (my friend just had one, so it must happen), but do i really believe it? not yet.


funnily enough we talk about this baby arriving a lot, like we are going to pick it up from the airport, like we're just waiting on the phone call as to when to leave. but the baby is already here. she's the closest she will ever be to me, she can hear us talking about her arrival and yet i still feel like she is in some other place and we are just waiting for the knock on the door when someone drops her off to us (wouldn't that be pain free lovely).


it's not that crazy that i would be hoping she would be here by now. i'm just over thirty nine weeks and according to extensive googling, about 45% of babies have arrived by now (that doesn't take into the mother's situation but whatevs). but alas no.


so i shall continue to wait....

post script

i have been working on a very special
project over the past thirty sixish weeks

(with help from my wonderful
photography assistant nicholas)
so i'll post that in just a
couple of days when

it's done.

the baby has been showered

i would not usually be the 'baby shower' type, but i am the decorating type.

so i threw fancy to the wind when it came to baby girl hutchins' baby shower

my friends were so generous and baby girl has been spoilt with beautiful

outfits and things to play with.

here's a couple of photos from the evening...

post script

this card made my night

life lately according to my iphone

i had planned to blog about a fantastic little trip we took to the winery 

and then i forgot, and it never happened.

then we were lucky enough to hang out in the secret garden with one 

matt corby, you know him, he sings that brother song, and i planned to blog about that.

that never happened either.

but i did take lots of photos along the way, so here's a smattering of life 

lately according to my iphone

post script 

also

last week we became an aunt and uncle again

to beautiful (and teeny) emma dawn rupp

can't wait to meet her

making (a) room for a bebe

i have always said i would never be one of those mothers who throws an extravagant party 

for my child's first birthday. the child is one, they have no idea what's going on.

i have nothing against mother's who go to town for first birthdays, all power to them, 

but it's just not me.

now you would think that same logic would extend to the decorating of our baby's room. 

she's a newborn, if the theories are true, she can't even see colours yet!

maybe it's instinctual though, the whole nesting thing,  

because i just couldn't help myself

and who knows, one day i may eat my words about extravagant first birthdays too

her baby quilt is twenty three years old, from when her mumma was a baby!

everything else is hand made or second hand, cos we're thrifty like that

twenty eleven was rather wonderful

or "h n year" as my mother put it in her most recent text message 

she's totes down with technology, can't you tell?

twenty eleven was rather wonderful, here's why

january | discovered gelatissimo in newtown, for a couple who live an hour away we frequent this place an embarrassing amount

february | said hi to nick's mum as she came to australia for the first time

march | said bye to all four wisdom teeth. it's like a kick in the teeth, literally

april | turned twenty three. had one of the best days in bondi. i just love the ocean

may | tried to delay the inevitable winter by heading north to the gold coast + theme parks.

 still die a little on the inside when i think about that one particular slide

june | finally met charlie in parkes after seeing a million photos on relishingthisseason, loved catching up with old friends

july | celebrated one year of marriage. on our one year anniversary also found out we were expecting an addition

august | got to see baby for the first time. instantly felt in love with this little grainy, black and white baby

september | flew stateside to visit nick's family and tell them the news

october | went to new york. love love loved it. 'nuff said.

november | finally went from looking fat to looking pregnant oh and found out it's a girl!

december | best christmas day in a long long time. first time my brother, sister and i were actually in the same state for christmas day in over five years